VaNiLLa's WorlD

Remorse...what's the point

2009-06-17T15:59:00.000-07:00

I'v been wondering these few months...one particular word to describe how i felt..

REGRET.... ( plus lil' of remorse )

This feeling developed in me since the day i got my results for STPM.
Telling the truth, and to be honest..im totally devastated!! just like end of the world.
I can't focus on work that day, been forgetting this and that...felt like a human body without a soul...a walking carcase as it.
Been thinking alot too these few months...that what i'm goin to be, or what i'm going to do next.
Some might say "haiya,u'v been thnking too much "larh"...but actually...it's not at all...i don't know what my future holds...din't know how far i'm goin to go..
This blog is full of confusion..maybe i din't have any point in writing this blog..and i don't actually know what i wish to present to my readers...
i really do hope that i will find the will and courage to stand up and something that will grant me a heart of perseverence ..well...at least to persevere within this time of confusion...
untill that day im clear what i'm going to do..i do pray i have the patience to continue what i'm doing.

HAPPIE HALF YEAR ANNIVERZERY DEAR ^^

2007-08-12T05:36:00.000-07:00

dar...juz in a blink of an eye...we were together or half a year d..
for me...this 6 months was the sweetest time i ever had...coz im with u..
sweet times...and bitter times ( if i still rmber any )...we had been through..
and im glad that im still with u ^^ what i wish is tht..i wish to be with u forever

althou when ur not with me...but my heart..still thinks of u..and tht makes my heart never to feel empty...coz it is alwas filled with ur love n care...how possible my heart will be empty tht way?

if my love for u is like a drop of water...i will willingly give u an ocean
if my love for u is like a bits of sand...i will gladly give u a desert
if my love for u is like a petal of flowers...i will give u a garden full of sakuras

Happy 6th month anniversery dear ^^ i love u qin qin...muacks

HAPPY 5TH MONTH ANNIVERZERYzzZz ^^

2007-07-12T03:21:00.000-07:00

HAPPY 5th MONTH anniversary!!!!
ofcoz to me n my dearest dear qin qin ^^

I LOVE U WONG CHUN KIM ^^
君が大好きだよ、ずっとに
5201314

p/s: kekez...love u...lolx i have nth to say d...muacks dear..if i can i wana type in so many languages...i love u ^^

TRANSFORMER?lolx....

2007-07-10T05:35:00.000-07:00

BACK BACK BACK BACK~~~!!!

ok this blog is all about my date with my dear on the 7th of july 2007...
i once told dear tht i wanted to watch TRANSFORMER so much....and yet she still rmbers it ^^
she manage to get those tickets eventhou they are hard to get( thank u dear i love u ^^)
so we met up in JJ tht day...to my surprise...the seats are 2 rows frm the front LOLX...
but anyhow..im glad that im sitting with my dear...and i dont care anything oso...^^
i can c tht she is kinda bored...but when i looked at her...i felt happy coz she's with me ^^
and after the movie ended...i can really c the sleepy face of hers ^^ and i noe she's hungry too
so we decided to have a dinner before we went home...and the same palce..Igentis (hope i get the name rite this time) hee ^^
so we ordered 2 plates of pineapple fried rice and two honeydew green tea (hope i still get it rite)
but the waiter end up serving oli a single plate of rice ==!! so we shared ^^ and rice never been tht tasty before ^^ we went home after tht coz its already 10pm lu hee

p/s:i hope u like the bear bear n the drawing dear..^^ i love u

SCREENING OR PLAY? HEHE

2007-06-23T22:55:00.000-07:00

sorry sorry its been a while guys ^^ here im back..hapie?

ok...on the 22nd of June 2007...SIT or should i say HELP had organised a som ekind function in the auditorium...ok 1st let me explain what this function is...its a chinese fairy tale...u guys heard of Liang Shan Po & Zhu Ying Tai?ya...they were having a screening..but me..somehow..kinda mistaken it as a screen ACT PLAY.(no wonder the tickets are darn cheap --!!)so...blindly im deceived by my seniors (maybe its my fault for hearing wrongly coz the school captain actually said it is a screening...but what the heck i wana blame ppl XD)so ofcoz...i invited my dear to join with me ^^ never wana left her out...

so we meet at 7pm tht day...have a walk around Klang Parade...walk walk...then we decided to have a drink in a cafe name Igentis of sumthing(hope i dint get the name wrong,hehe)well...me n my dear always take a long time to decide wat we wana order (i mean reli reli long ^^)..il ask her "what u wana order'...and she will ask me back the same thing(LOL us..HOORAY~~!!)
but anyhow..we decided to call a drink name "violet" sumthing..name oli sounds nice...but when u taste it...its no other from the grape flavoured Vitagen XD

then we went up to SIT at 8pm...as usual...ppl arent tht puncture vritime...so we enter the auditorium round 8.15 lidat...when we enter...we cant c a single thing..everything in pitch black o.O coz thy off the lights...EVERYONE of them(i mean..come on la...leave sum glimp for us to c the ground la...cant even c the steps and our sits u noe?!!)but fortunately...we found empty sits...and sit lo...i was kinda zha dao when i saw a projector screen...i tot it was only for intro or sumthing then the actors will come out...TOO BAD...they dont..they are in the screen..u get what i mean?YA...ITS A SCREENING NOT A ACT PLAY!!!!!== !!

with singings n chinese poems...i hardly understand a single word they were saying...but what the heck...i was sitting beside my dear ^^ how the movie gets bored...it wont bother me coz my dear is there with me (im sorry qin qin for dragging u into this XD HAHA)but i reli do enjoy the time with u inside ^^

the screening lasted around 2 hours i tink....conclusion it was kinda meaningful...the sacrifice for love n the noble heart for love..a touching ending...AA+ exclude the Ma Wen Chai crapping english n bullshyting.A for the actor's acring and the other A for the plot n story line...the + is for my dear who accompanied me ^^ so its a AA+ time inside...HEHE...

YAN XIONG~~~!!! WANG XIONG~~~!! LOL

How things get started ^^

2007-06-02T21:00:00.000-07:00

The first person who attrached my attention...she remains unknown to me...when i first enter my tuition class...she was the first person i took attention...she was the first ever gurl...the only girl il look in my tuition class...i sat behind her always...looking at her...until i dint really pay attention to what my chemistry teacher was teaching XD waiting for her every single class of tuition...happy to see her when she arrive...heart broken when she din turn up for class...

But till then,i still werent able to know anything about her...just noe teacher calls her 'Kim'...that's all i know..dint even know her name..anything about her...tried n tried to get information bout her...
unill one day...i manage to get her phone number...n get to know her name...Wong Chun Kim

i felt happy that day...atleast there are some hope left after all...thinking of giving up sometime of knowing her...but i end up continuing...maybe tht's what ppl call fate ^^
i texted her almost vriday...but she din seems to reply my msg...kinda heart broken thou XD...
but i tried thicken my face...and keep it up...and it reli workds ^^till one day...she called me n asked me who i am...she sounds kinda angry i think...but whatever..i get to know her d XD

form tht day on...we started to sms each other...day and night...lots of things to talk about...
then we started missing each other..the feeling...is getting deeper n deeper day by day....there is the chemical feeling after all...and i was happie whenever she told me "i miss u"..i will juz smile.
Untill the day...when she said "i love u" to me...i was stun tht moment..frozed for tht moment...eyes wide opened...she actually told me "i love u"...i felt i was floating in the air...filled with joy ^^ tht is the word iv been waiting for so long......atlast.......

But untill tht day i feared most...she told me tht she is bored...that we oli sms each other...and we were not couples then...tht word...reli hurts me deeply...u can actually feel the stab of a knife through ur heart...the pain...the suffering..how hurt is tht word to someone...a person i loved most...i have no idea how to reply her...mind was blank...totally blank...

I tried to sleep tht nite...but i cant seems manage doing so...so i got my guts up n called her...we both were kinda timid tht time...and she said she have no idea how to reply me tht time either...so we both keep apologising to each other...

tht funny thing is..when i confess to her during our conversation on phone....
*translation to english XD*

"chun kim..there is sumthing i wana ask u....wir~b~~gr~~rnd~"

"huh wat u say"(she was on purpose tht time --!!)

"i say wir~b ~~mer gr~~ nd"

"can u say clearly...wat u saying"

"i say...WILL U B MY GIRLFRIEND?"

"......en......."

"HUH...en is what?"

"....enlo"

"huh...?"( i was on purpose tht time =P)

"tht means ok lo..."

That is the day that will never ever erased from my mind...that will be my most memorable day...12th of Febuary...2007...2 days before valentine's day
form that day on,she had became my responsiblity...she had became my vrithing from tht sec
i cant sleep that night thou,kept thinking about her,i hope im able to dream bout her tht nite,and i wish my dream will alwas be her and only her,tht is my dear,my angel Wong Chun Kim ^^

qin qin i love u...

^^ sweet memorable date

2007-06-02T19:13:00.000-07:00

its been awhile since i dated u out dear...on the 2nd June 2007 (sat) we went to Sunway Pyramid for our date...hehe...we had already planned what movie to watch b4 tht day...and i kinda book tickets online...but...sorry to dessepoint u dear the spots wasn't really nice...n u make me feel happy when u say its okay as long ur sitting with me^^
so the next day we went and waited at the bus interchange(sorry dear,i no car n need u to take public transport with me T-T)the bus moved i thin about 60kmph OHMAN!!!!!so when we reached there,1st thing we do we collected our movie tickets 1st,wow the queing line was kinda long thou...scary XD
after we colleted the tickets,we went and walk around SP(SP dont have many places for couples to walk oso --!! went and walk around and around...and around,but its still nice for me,coz my angel was beside me,with me all the time..when i looked at her face,i will juz smile..n consider myself as the luckiest guy in the world,i juz cant believe ur with me already...when i look at ur face,i feel tht all my time i used last time to have ur heart was totally worth it...coz ur with me now ^^
we went to the cinema 10 minutes before the movie started,and we bought drinks..ORANGE JUICE YAHOO~~ ^^
im hapie when im with u in the cinema,coz u will be laying on my shoulder ^^ i hope my shoulders provide u comfort n saftiness ^^
after the 2 hours and 45 minutes pirates movie full with gore XD,i asked u "do u wish me to propose to u on the ship next time like the pirates? " haha...its kinda lame i noe ^^ sorry ya...
we went for lunch at BBQ plaza...and eat eat eat...i ate 2 bowls of rice neh o.O hehe
after tht we went and walk walk around again...eventhou we had walked the whole Sp,but the place seems endless when im walking with u dear ^^
after tht...we took train home after tht...^^
its been a enjoyable day for me..and i hope so for u dear ^^

~wenwen on what he tinks during the date,it was fun ^^
~qin qin im hapie to be with u tht day ^^
~i love u FOREVER
~i wont ever forget that day ^^

专属天使 You Are my Only Angel ^^

2007-05-28T19:38:00.000-07:00

To Dear QinQin,,this is for u also ^^

我不会怪你对我的伪装
天使在人间是该藏好翅膀
人们愚蠢鲁莽而你纤细善良
怎能让你为了我被碰伤
小小的手掌厚厚的温暖
你总能平复我不安的夜晚
不敢想的梦想透过你的眼光
我才看见它原来在前方
没有谁能把你抢离我身旁
你是我的专属天使
为我能独占
没有谁能取代你在我心上
拥有一个专属天使
我哪里还需要别的愿望
小小的手掌大大的力量
我一定也会像你一样飞翔
你想去的地方就是我的方向
有我保护笑容尽管灿烂
要不是你出现我一定还在沉睡
绝望的以为生命只有黑夜

i wont blame you...if ur keeping anything from me
a true angel should hide their wings in the reality world
while others are acting foolishing mean, but you are humble n kind
how am i willingly to see u get hurt because of me
althought its a small palm,but it gives tendering warmth
you are the only one who can calm my restless nights
dreams i dare not to dream,looking through your eyes
that's the only time i realised you were far from me
there are no one who can snatch u away from me
you are my only dear angel
because of you,i wil make you mine
there are no one who can replace you in my heart
and so,you are my only dear angel
there are no other wishes i need anymore
your small palm,gave me strong protection
if there is any posibilities,i will like to fly like you
the places u wanted to go,is the direction im heading
i believe with my protection,your smile will be broader than ever
if ur not here with me now,i might be still lost in my dark dream
please dont give me dessepointments,or my life will be just filled with darkness

~from dear wen wen to my dear qin qin~^^
love u forever...

My dear Chun Kim..my angel..my qin qin,my darling,my honey...my everything ^^

2007-05-28T05:10:00.000-07:00

this blog is speacially dedicated to my gf...Wong Chun kim ^^
i just wana say how much i love u...reli reli do..i do cherish u...
ur my mountain...my ocean...my ground...my sun...my moon...my star
i cant express my feelings towards u fully...coz my love for u is infinite...
no bare eyes can c and no advanced technology can too...ur my everything
day n nite il tink of u....no matter wat happen..the 1st one il tink is u,my dear...
do u noe how special u are to me...how important to me?
no..no body will imagine how precious u are to me...neither do i noe
coz my love for u is MUCH,way to much!!!but i never once regret loving u my dear
u painted my sky,u gave me happiness,u gave me hope,YOU are my hope!!!
i wish tht ur reading this rite now...all this words come from the depths of my heart....

I LOVE U WONG CHUN KIM....

frm dear wen wen ^^ (noe u like purple dear....MUACKS)

WelcoME to ME SienzZz world

2007-05-27T21:06:00.000-07:00

1st time in blog?guys u all must tink im freaking joking here la
nope...u guys eyes have no pobem...YES..its my 1st time in blogs...juz registered one thou
hmm...all this while i tink blogs are meaningless...maybe thy r not after all
to be frankly...nth much happen in my life...juz the same old routine...same old things to do
WHo wouldn't be bored with it...i mean oh man come on...ur eating the same food for the reast of ur life...ur gona be insane LOL...life was miserable some says...n life was fun some says..
for me life is both miserable n fun...there are much things tht happens in our life...
things will turn out dfren way frem dfren ways we c...agree?
but some how ppl lifes is filled with troubles n dilemaz...tht's wat makes life tht bored...
so hard for wad...live life happy to the MAX i say...